Ace comedian Bovi took to his Instagram page this morning to share his last night and last experience with a prostitute, when he was still in 300 Level, in 2000.
Read:
I had just resumed school for second
semester 300 level. This was February 2000. My mission was to storm
port-harcourt from abraka and surprise my older sister who had just
moved to another apartment.
All I had was the address to the new
apartment. I’ve always loved to pull surprises and this was my biggest
one at the time. I arrived ph in the evening via public transport and
traced her new place. Me wey plan to surprise my sister con surprise
myself. She had not moved in. Her present address, I didn’t have. Gsm;
non-existent at the time, her office? Closed. I was practically stranded
in the garden city. After recovering from my rude shock, I took the
first 2 foolish decisions. I hailed a cab and told the can to take me to
a happening joint. The type that runs all night. He told me it was a
Tuesday, the happening joints really don’t happen on Tuesday. I insisted
there had to be one. Well he had money to make, so he obliged me.
We got there. Dead end. Even the band members and the Dj were off duty.
We tried a second spot. No luck. By this
time it was past 9pm. So it dawned on me that I should have been
looking for a hotel. By the time I checked 2 hotels, I realized that had
I not made wayward stops, I’d have been able to pay for a room.
Think Bovi, think!
I asked again where I could possibly
chill till daybreak. A commercial nerve. Someone mentioned “opposite
hotel presidential.” When I got to hotel presidential; opposite it that
is; I was relieved. The groove was real. Outdoor joints, several bar
tenders. Pot bellied men with pretty women drinking away their stress. I
found my spot, got a seat, weighed my purse and saw that my vex money
had been severely eroded. I couldn’t even afford a drink. But hey, I
could watch.
The ladies of the night were present on
their droves( soliciting customers). It was a sight to behold. If they
got lucky, they hopped into vehicles of strange men. I enjoyed all I saw
until it was midnight and the unexpected happened. All d joints started
to lock up. On no time it was just me and the night nurses left on the
road side.
“Why you no go stay hotel” “why you no
go your sister house” “why she Neva pack go her new house?” I had
answered all these questions repeatedly.
By now I was with the security of the
hotel, begging to share their space with them till the earliest signs of
daylight. They weren’t comfortable with me there. They had even
suggested I go to ojuelegba, a spot on the famous Aba road that hosted a
retinue of low class sex workers (low in the sense that the better sex
workers were the ones who came opposite the hotel) I had turned down the
idea politely.
Five minutes later, a police patrol can
sailed by slowly with “victims” of their raid of ojuelegba. I didn’t
believe my luck, assuming it was luck. Not long after, one of the
busiest girls of the night walked into the security post. I had seen her
severally that night. She had to be the busiest of the girls. Leave in a
car, return in okada. That happened at least 4 times.she inquired what
the problem was.
For the 66th time, I narrated.
She paused for a while. I had no idea
what she was thinking. Then quietly she asked to see the contents of my
bag. Two shirts, one trouser, soap can with blue long sponge and body
cream. And identity card. Finish!
She thought for a while again and then
made me an offer. She asked me to follow her to her apartment. I wasn’t
sure what to do. Security didn’t want me there. From their eyes I could
tell this was my last offer. She “napkined” on the bike ride to her
house. This was 2am. A small living room and a room with one bed ms
living room was as small as the room. It had no furniture. She offered
me her bed and slept on the floor. I tried to refuse but she will have
none of it. I was her guest. I don’t know if I really slept cos my legs
remained on the floor with my back on d bed.
By 5 am I was up. She offered me water
to shower but all I did was brush and wash my face. Her brother came in
not long after without caring a second who I was, he went straight to
sleep. As I made to leave, she untied an end of her wrapper, brought out
a wad of notes and offered me 3 fifty naira notes. She bade me
farewell.
Till now i never see her again...
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